What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
11.06.2025 04:08
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Have you ever had your crush reject you, and then later you all dated and married?
Make Nazis afraid again!
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
What do you think, TikTok is nothing but another porn site? Do you agree or not? Why?
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
TEXT:
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.